Filler’ Up?

Last week, when I was in Baltimore supporting Mighty Mac, I would go to the hospital as early as I could with coffee for Alex and supplies for the day. Many nights, I ended up leaving very late in the day. One night, I got into my car and realized the gas light was on even before I got to the parking garage. It was after 10pm, and I didn’t have enough gas to get home.  As I pulled out of the lot I noticed a gas station right next to the hospital, not even a block away. I pulled in and took a deep breath and all of a sudden the stressors of the week sort of came over me in a wave. I looked around and noticed several people millling about the parking lot and thought to myself, “God, please let them stay away. I don’t have any cash or good will to give right now. I’m empty.”

I got out of my car to begin the process of filling up my tank, swiped my card, entered the zip, and put the nozzle in but, it wouldn’t start! I checked the display and a message flashed up, “See Cashier.”  I must have looked like a crazy person the breeze was blowing and my hair was flying around my head. As I started walking over, a lady  approached me and said, “You have beautiful hair!”  In my head I said a prayer of thanks that she didn’t ask me for anything, and I thanked her.

With wild hair and wild eyes, I approached the cashier’s bullet proof window, threw my credit card into the hole and said “I just need ten dollars’ worth.”  The cashier may not have been able to speak English, and what was coming out of his mouth sounded like gibberish to me.  His arms were waving around and he right when it started to feel like the most frustrating game of charades EVER, the lady called out, “You have to put the nozzle back in! I got it!” She reset the pump, and as I signed the slip,  she pumped the gas for me. I started to walk back over to my car, feeling guilty for my previous prayer, and as I walked over trying to figure out what to say she stepped forward and said:

“I don’t know why I am doing this.  I feel like it may be a God thing.  I feel like I need to say something to you, because you have had a hard day. It looks like you need a big, may I hug you?”

At this point, I was speechless, so I just nodded and she stepped in for a hug.  As she was hugging me, I broke down a little and started to cry. She said, “You know, sometimes, it’s ok for strong people to cry. Sometimes, you have to be strong for people around you and that’s good but sometimes, those same people need to see that you can cry because that gives them permission to cry too.”  I hugged her tighter, because that very day had been super tough and I felt like this was information I really needed to hear.  She paused, and asked if I believed in God, and offered to pray with me. At that point, I mumbled an apology because I had nothing to give her, and I felt shame. She backed up, held me at arms reach and said, “I don’t want anything from you, honey, I never do this and I don’t know why I’m doing this now. You looked like you needed a hug. I hope everything works out.”

And with that, she walked away.  As I got into my car, I realized much more than my car had been refueled. I shared that story with both of my sisters and they agreed, it was a “God thing.”