1 month countdown

1 month from today Macsen will have his 2nd surgery @ CHOP with Dr.Spray. It's coming. I don't want to live the next month in countdown mode but it is tough not to. This inter-stage period is so.... stressful to say it will be a relief to be out of it is an understatement. This is his super maximum vulnerable time - after this next surgery he'll be stronger and we can live a more normal life. That's the plan anyways and we all know what they say about best laid plans. But I refuse to think that way - Macsen hasn't let us down yet - he's fought this crazy heart diagnoses, he's fought a virus and now the flu - he's a fighter. A tiny adorable little fighter.
Since this week - weekday week- is over now I can say without fear of jinxing it - that this is our first week we haven't seen a doctor - or 2, or 3 since M was born. Yay! It was good. The girls are both sick - K somehow just got the stomach flu C got 2 weeks ago... weird how that works. And both seem to be having a relapse of the same cold symptoms I thought they were over last week. This cold season has been the worst for us - despite keeping C out of school, and limiting our exposure to friends, curtailing all outings except for groceries or doctors appointment we have been fighting one bug or another almost since we've been home. I am almost ready to invest in hazmat suits for all of us.... maybe not that extreme yet but I am looking into buying cleansing aromatherapy oils (insert windchime audio and visuals of healing crystals here.) Willing to give most non toxic things a shot.
We are also keeping the girls from the gym nursery for the next month. They loved to go and were most often the only kids there. They had the full attention of the super nice nursery worker and would strip down to their skivvies upon entering the door at home and jump right in the shower to get rid of germs. Not going to chance it now. We have to get everyone well.

That being said I think we will swing by the beach after our next cardiology appt in a week - we did this for  the first time last week and the girls - and by girls I mean me too-  had such an amazing time. It had been a really bad week with the flu diagnoses and a few sudden losses in our heart baby community we are now a part of. There is no better place to let go of your fear, your sorrow, the weight you carry around on your heart - no better place to set it down then at the beach.... for me anyways. We looked for shells, got totally soaked and sandy (thank goodness I packed spare clothes for the trip) and just played. Macsen wasn't totally sold on the whole beach idea - in fact he was much happier in his carrier covered up. But for me, it was just the recharge I needed to face the rest of January - not just face it, but enjoy it. Enjoy my baby who is growing, slowly but still growing. He hit 11 lbs finally! And is getting too big for his clothes - love that. He's hooting like an owl now - cute even at 4 am when he calls for me. And today he drank 100 ml at once - that is huge! We've been getting by on 15-30 ml every hour for months now. 100 ml means maybe a few hours of sleep - in a row - consecutively. And with the cutting out of Prilosec and Zantac he is only on 1 med everyday - Lasix - and his aspirin 3x/week. Incredible! Really, looking at photos from my pregnancy and I wish I could reach through time and tell myself how great life is right now - how amazing our little man is, how blessed we are.