Breaking the 8 lb barrier

 

   We have been creeping up on this number for a month! Every morning I weigh M on the hospital provided scale. It is part of a home monitoring program @ CHOP for interstage babies. We send his oxygen saturations,  his pulse, his daily intake, and the dreaded weight. I tie so many emotions up in his weight - mostly fear that despite my best efforts - pumping around the clock and only giving him the calorie and fat rich hind milk almost every hour- he will lose weight and we'll have to supplement his milk with formula or feed him continuously via a tube down his throat or in his stomach. I also feel frustration, and a deep sadness that this innocuous number - this thing that happened in my girls at an easy and embarrassingly high rate (they were technically obese Michelin like babies - is such an important thing for Macsen and reveals how well he's doing - or not doing with his unique heart.  

But today I felt JOY!!! And happiness and ecstatic-ness and such relief - he's 8 lbs!!!! It's taken us a month to gain the weight he gained before surgery and lost in the days following and now we have exceeded it! I've never been so ready for one of my babies to outgrow their clothes - so ready to get rid of all the newborn clothes. 

One month ago this was our life

One Month Old - Already?

Really? already 1 month old? Yep! He gained a little weight over the past few days and are now ALMOST 8 lbs! crazy to think my girls were NEVER 8 lbs - always bigger. Macsen is growing - if more slowly. The doctors told us they grow slowly at first but after they have recovered more fully from the operation and their new circulation their growth usually accelerates.
We've also been struggling with GERD or reflux or really bad gas pains. It's so hard to know what is normal baby stuff and what is heart baby stuff. I know lots of kids have reflux - the girls didn't - but I think Macsen, like so many heart babies - does. He's on Zantac - has been since his surgery - sort of a blanket "All heart babies need this" but lately, the past 2 weeks or so he has really had bouts of screaming, arching his back and  spitting up. No vomiting per se- just lots of vomity burps. Going with the reflux theory we've been only lying him down on an incline - never flat and we never feed him lying down. Had to say good-bye to my favorite lying down nursing position. Speaking of nursing I've cut that out too in accordance with theory # 2 - that I have a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance (http://www.llli.org/faq/foremilk.html.)  My body went into milk production overdrive after he was born and I made way too much milk. I have been mostly dumping the thin first milk- foremilk- and giving him only the fatty hindmilk as per the nutritionist @ CHOP's suggestion. I recently read that foremilk is high in protein and vitamins so added some back in with my pumped hindmilk only to have Macsen really suffer. Painful gas and green poops. More research revealed foremilk is also a lot higher in lactase that - if out of balance- can overload the baby's colon causing the previously mentioned symptoms - in addition to more spit ups and colicky symptoms. Hmmmm. sometimes I wasn't super diligent about only giving him hind milk - especially those 3 in the morning pumping sessions. And when he nurses he's only getting foremilk unless I pump first then nurse because he  tires after 5 minutes - not enough time to get to the good stuff on his own.
We see his pediatrician for the first time tomorrow - I'll talk to her about it. I hate to just throw more meds at the problem if in fact there's something going on with my milk.
He's happily passed out at the moment - propped up in my left arm. Sweet baby - happy 1 month birthday!